Minggu Emo: Snow White Dan Duda Kaki Botol

This whole week kinda sucks. Started my Public Health rotation which turned out to be Statistics 2.0. Belajar balik subjek statistic yang telah lama ditinggalkan sejak zaman A Level tapi dengan lebih mendalam dan juga melibatkan proses merekod data dengan menggunakan software yang sungguh tahi. To top it all off, setiap hari lecture super bosan 9 pagi hingga 4 petang.

And now we are in the process of developing questionnaires for our orang asli survey/research. Will be spending 5 days at an orang asli village somewhere in Perak T______T. Nak buat questionnaire ni satu hal jugak nak kena group meeting di luar waktu kelas. First meeting was at Mc Donalds sampai dekat pukul 12 malam.

Sibuk bincang pasal BMI,blood pressure orang asli padahal diri sendiri tengah melantak ayam goreng Mc Donalds. Super hypocrite,i know.

Minggu depan ni tak tau la lagi berapa kali nak buat group meeting malam-malam buta macamni. Kalau pagi takde kelas takpe lah jugak. Having to spend so much time doing things you have very little interest in is really depressing.

Lepastu tadi konon nak mengurangkan stress pergi tengok cerita Snow White and The Huntsman.

The movie sucks,big time. It was really awful i'd rather be in a group meeting discussing about my questionnaires than having to watch it again. The scene with the white deer in an enchanted forest or something- that was cheesy.

That is not the worst part of the movie. 2 words- Kristen Stewart. Bitch cant act. Even the horses in this movie display better acting skills. This is her ONLY expression throughout the movie;

You cant tell whether she is excited, feeling romantic, sad or just constipated. With that one facial expression she manage to convince a whole town to go against the super-gorgeous but extremely bitchy queen played by Charlize Theron. If your country is falling apart and your only hope lies in someone like Kristen Stewart, you are pretty much effed up. Believe it or not she led the whole army to war, a pretty ballsy move for someone who was nearly killed by a man with a bad haircut (those who have watched will know what im talking about)

Prestasi yang lebih teruk dari lakonan Neelofa dalam Cerekarama minggu lepas menyebabkan Charlize Theron kelihatan seperti overdoing it. Dia sorang je yang beria-ia berlakon padahal hero heroin utama chemistry pun takda.

Speaking of hero-heroin chemistry,another messed up part is when she woke up from death after the huntsman kissed her. Eventhough this is so predictable but i just cant accept the fact that her 'true love' is an alcoholic duda. What....a ridiculous twist on a classic tale.

After the movie we went to this restaurant called Winter Warmers. 

Ive read some quite good review about this place on the net and im calling it bullshit. The place looks like a shoplot in Nilai 3. The whole english deco was tacky-overload. If you are doing the whole english theme,please get a proper english teaset,not some il cheapo stuff you can find in Uptown.And the food sucks camel balls.

Banana chocolate waffle adela dalam 8-9 hirisan nipis pisang ditambah dengan RENJISAN chocolate sauce.If you look at the food pictures on the menu lagi sedih. Baik pergi Delicious makan chocolate brownies lagi bagus. Tambah pulak dengan waiter super rude pergh memang palang tempat ni dari senarai restoran pilihan.

Kepada anda di luar sana yang menginginkan weekend yang lebih bermakna sila jauhi Winter Warmers dan cancel saja niat menonton Snow White and the Huntsman. 

Sekian.

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Marriage and Self Reflection

Sebenarnya waktu pergi The Gardens haritu plan asal memang nak makan korean food lepastu blah sebab bila umur dah menginjak senja ni memang dah tak berapa reti nak melepak lama-lama. Tapi a friend of mine came with a shocking news.

He is getting married. (or actually planning to get married)

Bukannya nak kahwin lagi 2 minggu ke hape, planning je baru. Kira agak-agak lepas dah grad bolehlah terus melangkah ke alam pernikahan gitu. Again, mungkin sebab faktor umur yang semakin meningkat bila decide to declare/ have a serious relationship terus bermatlamat ke arah perkahwinan. Sebab by the time grad insyaallah umur dah 25-26,kalau nak bercinta monyet takde matlamat sumpah membazir duit,emosi dan pahala. Jadi perancangan yang jitu itu sungguh penting ya puan-puan.

Walaupun plan nak kahwin ni bagi sesetengah orang biasa je, but since this is coming from a friend who neglected his fish tank after a few months, kept a pet bird for a week and briefly took interest in gardening...it was shocking at first. Maka haruslah post mortem keputusan berani ini dengan lebih mendalam. Lunch korean food ditunda ke tea time untuk memberi laluan sesi meluahkan perasaan di Dome.

It was during this time that i had an epiphany. My friend could've been in a manic-depressive state but he is totally right. Tak lama lagi dah nak start kerja, dah busy, and we are getting older. I really need to get my shit together and grow up. 

-in the middle of explaining my non existent future plan

The fact that people our age ramai gila kahwin/tunang musim cuti sekolah ini menambahkan kegusaran di jiwa. We sat there for quite a while talking about marriage and future plans , something i always try to steer clear of in daily conversations. 

But since one of us was in a lovey dovey mood, lepas habis minum dekat Dome we proceed to....

-yep. kedai pinggan mangkuk dan kedai wedding cake. Hovercraft gila nak kawen lagi 2 taun dah survey harga kek. 

I dont know why lah suddenly it seems like semua orang bercakap pasal kahwin. My grandfather who reminded me to focus on my studies prior to my departure to Ireland sekarang siap tanya 'kamu bila nak kahwin?' no less than 6 times. Dalam hierarki sepupu, i've 3 elder cousins above me so in a way it's like Atuk is urging me to step over 3 benduls -___-" Bawak bersabar dulu Tok.

And i've been doing a lot of self reflection lately. Dalam Psychiatry ada belajar tentang Erik Erikson Developmental Stages. 

Perjalanan hidup kita ni dibahagi kepada beberapa stages, so kalau kita tak berjaya handle konflik dalam satu stage tu, the following stage will be badly affected.

And looking back in retrospect, i must've f*#ked up several stages before this since im such a mess now. Growing up, i learned a lot from observations. When my elder brother went into a rebellious era of his life i saw how it affected my parents. I was determined not to do anything that could upset them and later developed this fear of being a disappointment. Bila masuk form 4 result exam semua C,D,E dan ke bawah tapi langsung tak pernah bagitau makbapak sebab taknak jadi anak yang mendukacitakan. Then i struggled through form 5 and manage to get straight A's in SPM. (yes, it is possible for you to flunk form 4 exams and still do well in SPM)

Lepastu sambung belajar medik pun macamtu. I never tell them my results kecuali result yang bagus-bagus je. I never share my problems with my parents due to this fear of being a disappointment. I mean sejak kecik people expect me to do well in everything, the slightest failure pun memang tak boleh tolerate. So can you imagine studying medicine- the most pain in the ass course in the whole wide world without emotional support from anyone? You end up being suicidal or stronger,it can go either way. And thank God, He decided to give me strength.

After a few years down that road i've accepted the fact that the only person you can rely on is yourself. By now you can probably deduce that im having some major trust issues. That is why all this while all my life plans involve only me, and to be frank it's quite hard to include anyone else in that picture. As soon as relationships started getting serious i bailed out, and that's what happen in during my UTP and Dublin days.

And now i think is the right time for me to turn my life around and start to address all these things i avoided in the past. I need to get closer to God because He was the only one there when i needed support. Kadang-kadang terfikir jugak sampai bila nak dok takat tu je. Lepas kahwin bukan setakat jadi imam solat, kena jadi imam dalam menjalani kehidupan jugak. Dalam surah AnNisa' pun ada cakap benda ni.

These thoughts are so overwhelming and i guess it's about time for me to do something about it. But frankly i dont know where to start. All i know is i need to tackle one major issue first;

-need to learn how to cut my own toenails and stop relying on mom to do it for me

-_________-"

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Korean Food In KL

It's no secret that i'm not a big fan of Korea. Tried to hop on the K-drama bandwagon,but after watching the ridiculously romantic series, Boys Over Flower jiwa ragaku tidak mampu untuk menerima semua ini dengan hati terbuka. Dialog yang sungguh cheesy, kisah percintaan murid sekolah yang penuh onak dan ranjau pergghhh. Too much. I wouldnt be surprised if they pooped glitter and roses.

Despite all that, i still enjoyed my vacation to Korea. And to be honest i dont mind going there again. One of the things that i misses the most is their food.

Jadi sempena hari cuti terpaksa hasut rakan-rakan untuk turun KL dan cari restoran Korea sebab kalau nak pergi Korea lagi sekali bukan tak mampu, cuma sementara nak tunggu lagi 3 bulan duit scholarship masuk memang kena makan langsir jawabnya.

Went to Gardens today sebab ada restoran Korea dekat situ. Something surprising happened earlier but im still not ready to write about that,yet. (i'll probably write about it in another post) ,so for the time being lets focus on them fooooood!

-Makan di restoran Koryo-Won. Jangan risau, sebelum masuk dah tanya waiter melayu tu dia kata all the food are prepared in a Halal way. But i guess since they also serve sake, lesen Halal Jakim tidak berjaya diperolehi. Sebarang kemusykilan boleh ditujukan kepada pihak pengurusan restoran atau pejabat mufti berdekatan anda. Kalau rasa syubhah takpayah makan,takde sapa paksa pun.

Dekorasi restoran memang mengimbau pengalaman di Korea. Masih segar di ingatan melangkah masuk ke dalam restoran kecil di tengah kota Seoul di waktu malam selepas mengharungi pengalaman penuh sensual di sebuah Jimjilbang yang erotik.

-penyedut asap di atas setiap meja untuk menyedut asap bbq. Seoul Garden should invest in this.

Disebabkan waktu pergi tour Korea dulu ikut group non muslim,maka memang telan airliur tiap kali ahli group makan beef dan babi panggang. Berjurai airmata tatkala mengunyah hirisan kobis dan cendawan di setiapkali meal. Jadi kunjungan ke Koryo-Won harus tidak disiakan. Terus order Wagyu beef, ox tongue (ya lidah!) dan semangkuk bibimbap.

-rupa ox tongue sebelum dimasak. seakan-akan peperoni tetapi dengan kekenyalan pedal ayam.

-pelayan restoran sedang memanggang daging wagyu dan ox tongue tersebut.

-cara nak makan ialah letak daging atas salad. Campur kimchi ke apajadah side dishes yang disediakan mengikut citarasa,gulung dan baham. Waktu di Korea dulu sebab daging tak halal terpaksa sumbat sayur dalam gulungan salad. Sayur dalam sayur- Inception much?

-bibimbap yang telah dicedok ke dalam pinggan kecik. Sedap tapi masih tak dapat menandingi bibimbap di Incheon airport.

Secara keseluruhannya, makanan adalah sedap (especially wagyu beef) dan rasa seperti masakan Korea asli. Namun begitu harga adalah a bit steep, nak makan sekali-sekala merasa bolehlah, tapi kalau nak makan sampai doploh kali baik beli tiket pergi Korea terus. 

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Post Exam De-stressing and Binge Eating

Psychiatry rotation has come to an end. End of rotation exams diadakan di awal minggu which means from the day we came back from Hospital Bahagia to the day of exam cuma ada 3 hari untuk study di saat akhir. Maka tidak hairanlah diri ini hampir-hampir check in di wad mental.

-kura-kura menjadi mangsa di saat tekanan melampau. Makeover tanpa rela tatkala dipakaikan loceng

Lepastu semangat gila hafal schizophrenia,bipolar,depression sekali long case dapat panic disorder. Apa ni weh apa nihhh dah aku pulak yang panic attack kat situ. Tetapi alhamdulillah dapat juga ditempuhi dengan jaya.

Ketika tempoh study separa gila, kualiti pemakanan memang terjejas. Tak sedar diri dah dekat nak exam masih balun megi di malam hari. Selain faktor masa dan kemalasan, faktor kewangan goyah juga menyumbang kepada diet kurang sihat ini. Ingatkan lepas habis exam nak makan sedap sikit, tapi balik rumah dah mentally exhausted akhirnya juadah berprestij ini menjadi santapan pertama selepas exam.

Luckily my classmates decided to do a barbeque + get together/de-stress session by the beach. Yeay for real food! 

-membeli barang barbeque. di mana lagi kalau bukan gedung bahan murah untuk pelajar sengkek-Tesco.

-gambar barbeque terbaik yang mampu ditangkap oleh iPun ku. Sila syukuri 

The following night  Mak Su invited me to Hard Rock Cafe Penang for dinner since she's staying there to attend some conference.

They call it conference, I call it 3 nights vacation. Seriously mana ada orang konferens kat Hard Rock hoih. Heaven gila siap dapat free Hard Rock merchandise, diharap pihak kolej boleh pertimbangkan hotel sebegini untuk penginapan di kala rotation public health nanti *berangan*.

Had dinner with Mak Su's lawyers friends + other people working at her department, rilek je join dinner office orang haha nampak benar sifat malu senipis kain kapan.

-appetizers. Picture taken from Mak Su's super canggih phone.

I had a lamb burger, but didnt took any photos of it akibat kegelojohan melampau. Just like last time, i didnt manage to finish the burger due to it's ridiculous portion. Dahlah burger pun tak mampu nak habiskan, lepastu ada pulak dessert cheesecake. The cheesecake was so good, but after stuffing yourself with a burger that could feed the entire country of Ethiopia, i only ate like 2-3 suap of the cheesecake.

We stayed there to see the in house band perform. They were so good, am quite impressed with their selection of songs.

-sambil tengok live band haruslah pow Mak Su minuman berharga 47 hengget sebab kalau beli sendiri mungkin terpaksa cagarkan jam tangan untuk membayarnya.

So thank you Mak Su for being the awesomest aunty ever, also for the duit minyak untuk balik Nilai esok tehee. Jika ada konferens di Hard Rock lagi sila dapatkan bilik yang bersambung dengan swimming pool itu.

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Hospital Bahagia yang Membahagiakan

Just got back from Tanjung Rambutan and i am exhausted. Next week exams tapi minggu ni kolej buat field trip pergi Hospital Bahagia saja lettew nak sabotaj orang study. Spent one night at some random homestay in Ipoh, the place was actually quite nice.

Didn't took any photos at Hospital Bahagia sebab mengambil gambar di kawasan wad adalah tidak dibenarkan. Lagipun motif kau nak camwhore dalam wad? But we did took one group photo depan bas lepas melawat muzium(yes they have a museum there) waktu sesi lawatan petang.

Time ni semua dah pikir nak balik je,dahlah tetengah panas buta pakai white coat bagai. Mencerminkan imej profesional katanyaaa. Ketiak bukan setakat dah berlecak,ini dah stended waterfall.

Had lectures with the Pengarah and Timbalan Pengarah hospital. Hospital Bahagia live up to its name sebab memang membahagiakan student dapat makan breakfast free nasi lemak super sedap cooked by some of the staff and patients. Imej profesional yang diperjuangkan sedikit tercemar tatkala rakus tambah nasi lemak sampai dua kali. Dahlah brekpes joined by Pengarah hospital,mesti dia speechless tengok rombongan kebulur mana ni macam tak pernah jumpa nasik lemak.

Sebelum datang Hospital Bahagia ni i imagined the hospital mesti super scary with a hint of dodgy-ness. But i was wrong. Hospital Bahagia adalah ibarat 4 Seasons kalau nak dicompare dengan hospital biasa. Lanskap cantik dengan padang luas yang ditanam rumput ala-ala padang golf. Kalau anda ada masalah mental, sila berdoa dapat masuk Hospital Bahagia pasti rasa seperti taknak keluar. They are doing a really awesome job at maintaining the facilities despite the fact that hospital ni dah berusia 100 tahun. 

Usai lawatan sehari yang membahagiakan itu sebelum balik singgah di restoran Nasi Ganja di pekan Ipoh. Tapi sebab sampai dah petang, lauk tinggal ayam,telur masin and kuah campur saja.

Verdict: 10X lagi sedap dari Nasi Kandar Beratur.

Nasik Kandar Beratur haritu kari tawar ala-ala resepi dewan makan sekolah. Kari Nasi Ganja pekat dan terasa ganja rempah ratus yang digunakan. Kedai dia terletak di Jalan Yang Kalsom Ipoh. Its actually a small chinese coffee shop tapi ada mamak jual nasik kandar dalam tu. I used to eat at this kind of place in Muar bila balik kampung Johor waktu zaman hingusan dulu. Nostalgic.

Cina jual air, Mamak jual nasi kandar, Melayu,Cina,India,Kelabit,Melanau dan lain-lain datang makan sekali.Sama-sama kita menuju ke arah kegemukan abadi. Sungguh 1Malaysia kedai sebegini. Pimpinan terulung Dato Najib pasti berbangga.

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Rahsia Kegembiraan Hidup Dari Pandangan Remaja Pra Matang

Paris Hilton, who is an expert at maintaining positive public image once said "You should live everyday like it's your birthday". I find this quote fascinating, partially because of the positive philosophy behind it and mostly because i have realized that you dont have to be smart to come up with such an inspiring quote.

Sepanjang 23 tahun menempuhi hidup ini *cakap sambil urut janggut*, i have learned that kebahagiaan hidup adalah ditentukan oleh diri sendiri. The way you carry yourself, and how you handle your emotions memainkan peranan penting dalam mementenkan ketenteraman jiwa. And how exactly do you achieve that kebahagiaan hidup dan ketenteraman jiwa? Here's how (based on the life experience of a 23 year old medical student).

1. Dont take yourself too seriously

Most people who take themselves too seriously are those who we call the no-fun people. Laugh at your flaws once in a while.Macam kalau kita dianugerahkan tubuh badan gemuk, acknowledge it and make fun of ourself before others did. Self deprecation is the best defense mechanism of all time. Not only you'll accept all your flaws and be OK with it, you wont feel offended when someone insults your gemuk-ness. 

Contoh penerimaan positif kegemukan diri;

-gambar sebelum dan selepas. T___T

And if you cant take jokes, dont make one. Ini kutuk orang boleh, bila orang kutuk kau nak emosi. Apahal?

2.Acceptance

If you are planning to keep certain people in your life for a long run, you better accept them for who they are. If there is one thing i've learned in Psychiatry it is not easy to change people's personality. Some people are born asshole. And there is nothing you can do about it. You can either accept them or just look for another friends. Trust me, i've tried to change an asshole once, and i ended up smelling like shit. 

Or if you have slightly more patience than me, you can only pray to God that they'll change. 

But in the mean time, good luck with your suffering.

3.Forgive 

When people do things that annoy you, just think of bad things you've done to them. Like let say your roommate loves to sing that annoying Najwa Latip song out loud,in the middle of the night. Instead of shooting her in the face, just think of all the bad things you've done to her. Sebab kita manusia ni salah orang semua nampak je, salah sendiri tu yang susah sikit nak jumpa. Not necessarily kesalahan besar, tapi kesalahan-kesalahan kecil macam kita suka sepahkan bilik sedangkan si peminat Najwa Latip ini lah yang setiap minggu akan spend 2 jam mengemas dan mengemop. Always think of other's good deeds nescaya anda mudah memaafi dan boleh tolerate dengan lebih baik. Besides, life is always about give and take.

-gambar takde kena-mengena dengan point yang diberikan

4. Avoid drama

Some people just love drama. Especially girls. Even small small things also nak blown out of proportion. Selalu sungguh kita dengar ungkapan 'kalau tak puas hati cakap depan-depan la'. And what happen when you say it to their face? They throw a bitch fit. Lebih teruk lagi ada yang asal sentap tulis kat facebook, seakan-akan mahu satu dunia tahu persengketaan peribadi. Bila ditambah dengan komen batu api yang tak tahu cerita asal, menjadi-jadilah drama minggu ini. 

Sometimes these people dont stop at facebook only, siap wujudkan satu blog sebagai medan meluahkan perasaan secara terbuka. Personally, i hate blogs yang every single post asyik lah nak berdrama. Harini tak puas hati dengan A,esok tak puas hati dengan B. Why is your life full of negativity? Is your life THAT unhappy?

So sometimes it is better to keep things to yourself rather than express all your ketidakpuashatian.

 Bila meluahkan itu akan mendatangkan lebih banyak keburukan, maka adalah lebih baik berdiam. Dan jika dengan berdiam jiwa masih rasa tak tenteram, refer point #2 and #3. Menerima dan memaafkan.

5. Shit happens

Yes, it is true. Shit happens and it stinks. But you have the option to flush it down the toilet. When something upsets you, you are entitled to be sad. But grieving period jangan la terlampau over sampai melupakan yang hidup ini sesungguhnya adalah dipenuhi dengan perkara-perkara awesome. Ingatlah yang satu kesedihan diikuti dengan 99 perkara yang membahagiakan. Unless, the movie Nur Kasih is based on your life.

6. Be thankful

Be thankful for what you have, and what you dont have. Once you can accept the fact that you cant have everything in life, you'd be the happiest person on earth. 

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What Cuti?

Cuti Labour Day dimulakan dengan kunjungan hormat ke wad psikiatri. Have to clerk a case for case presentation tomorrow.

And of course cuti umum begini, wad adalah sunyi sepi. I was so optimist that we're going to get an easy,simple case. Interview went well despite patient having bizzare delusion. I can still take it untill she said.....

"I was a president of CIMB Bank and founder of Astro. Owh Im also a co founder of USM"

I.Give.Up.

Have a fun filled cuti everyone!

Gambar Hiasan-was taken at Prangin Mall arcade center 2 weeks ago.

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